Before we left the States, my family had a party for us. Soon we were the center of attention sitting in front of the fireplace surrounded by a room full of people. We began to hear “Hap-py Birth-day to you…” ring throughout the room as two cakes were brought out. Afterwards, my mom explained that she wanted the night to feel celebratory despite the fact that we were moving across the world. She also wanted to celebrate our lives since we would be overseas for a few years and she wouldn’t be able to be there for our birthdays.
I enjoy birthdays but have never been a huge birthday person until we moved to South Asia. Holidays and birthdays are just more special and in my mind, they should feel like a big deal. They are also a great reason to celebrate, eat familiar food, and enjoy community when it often feels like all those things have been stripped from you (at least for a while). But, there are so many things that can go wrong or opportunities for your expectations to be unmet.
Challenges when it comes to birthdays overseas:
- family usually isn’t present
- you might not have access to a bakery or if you do, it may or may not be up to the standards you are used to. Baking desserts from scratch becomes the norm.
- sometimes the gift options are slim so you have to decide if it’s even worth getting the birthday gal or guy anything at all. Do you get something just for the sake of getting them something?
- it is often difficult to figure out what to do to make the day special
- going out to eat at a fancy restaurant for dinner isn’t always possible or it can be disappointing, so you often choose to just cook and eat in
- the norm and traditions for birthdays in your host culture usually look different than what you consider to be the norm
So, for my husband’s birthday I tried to focus on making the day special for him with 1) words of affirmation (that I should be saying every day and often don’t) 2) acts of service (made my first 2 layer chocolate cake) 3) just making the whole day special rather than focusing on gifts
It made me realize that there are many blessings to having birthdays outside of your home country.
Joys that come with birthdays overseas…
- you have opportunities to grow in intentionality and creativity to create a special day for someone by going the extra mile since it usually required hunting for party hats or ingredients that are difficult to find
- you can show someone your care for them by making a cake from scratch and you learn as you bake new delicious treats
- making homemade cards when there aren’t any or a lot of options where you are (but I think it makes the card that much more special and thoughtful)
- enjoying funny things regarding birthdays in your host country (like a “birthday boy” candle with sparkles and pink on it or when the only candles that are for sale are magic ones that keep burning after they are blown out)
- celebrating with the community around you and growing together as you make memories and speak life to one another
