Micah Daniel ~ March 17th, 2023 ~ 12:15 pm in South Asia ~ 7 lbs 8 oz ~ 19.5 in
Trigger warning- after my baby was born, everything didn’t go quite as smoothly as anticipated. (If you want to read the whole story up to that part, I have labeled it “trigger warning” for your awareness).
The Prep
During the 36th week of pregnancy my check-list-obsessed self was making sure I wasn’t forgetting anything as I attempted to pack up our lives for the next two months. Kitchen utensils, decorations, clothes that would fit my growing bump, toys for my 20-month-old son, postpartum care products, newborn essentials and more.
The Move
We were about to move to a city within our host country that we had never been to and live in an Airbnb 15 minutes away from our provider of choice. I researched natural birthing options (similar to a place where our first son was born) and found this to be the most natural birth-center-type environment while also having adequate backup plans if the baby or I needed more care.
At 36 weeks and 4 days, we hopped in our car and drove several hours to a nearby city in preparation for our flight the next day. We went from winter temperatures in the small Himalayan town we call home to 80 degrees in a bustling city of several million people.
(We arrived in the birth city, ate Pizza Hut for dinner at the airport at 8:30 pm, and took an hour-and-a-half-hour taxi ride to our Airbnb.)
We didn’t know anyone except my friend who was also there from out of town with her family to have a baby. Our due dates were days apart and we made a pact to help each other in any way we could.
The Daily Grind
We spent our days going on morning walks, learning how to cook with minimal ingredients and appliances (including no oven), and making trips to the mall or to visit my friend and her family. Our flat let in very little natural light and every window faced a brick wall— no civilization could be seen. City life had it’s perks, though. Grocery delivery in ten minutes right to your doorstep. What is this? We could order from an endless list of restaurants, making us feel like we were kings and queens compared to the slim options where we live.
The Midwifery Center & the Wait
The midwifery center felt like a miraculous provision of God that I never imagined I’d find in our country. It had only been open a few years, was beautiful, clean and aligned with the birth we sought. They have everything for unmedicated and water births but can also administer epidurals and perform C-sections if needed or desired. We absolutely loved the facility and were very happy with the care.
About a week before I went into labor, when I was already past my due date, we joined an online parenting class in the States. At the end, the leaders of the group asked how they could pray for us and we mentioned the timing of the birth and all the details that would need to be worked out. The mom of 9 co-leading the study told me that for every single birth, God made a way for her husband to be there for her during birth but also be home by 9:30 pm to help get his mother to bed, who they cared for all these years. I kept coming back to that testimony all week, thinking God cares for the details and all I need to do is trust Him.
I prayed over the details—from good health to the time of day and traffic patterns. We were investing in a birth photographer and I knew if he came in the night, it would be difficult to get clear photos with low lighting. Uber drivers would often cancel and I prayed our taxi driver would arrive quickly and drive smoothly.
The Culprit
The night before I went into labor, we finally discovered the culprit that had been driving us crazy for the past two weeks, bed bugs. My husband had been bitten the worst and although we had looked many times before, he decided to turn over the couch cushion during nap time one more time. Lo and behold, he spotted them. He texted the manager of the facility right away. Within the hour, some workers came to haul away the couch and we headed out the door for dinner.
I took one last trip to the bathroom before we left and noticed some of my mucus plug had come out. I tried not to get my hopes up but definitely thought things could start happening in the next 24 hours.
I was determined to keep our dinner plans regardless of the bed bug fiasco. I desperately needed to socialize and wanted to see my friend and her family again.
Her baby had actually arrived on our due date the week before. She encouraged me and I could feel her excitement for whenever little boy wanted to come. She reassured me that he would be here soon and their family was ready any time, night or day, to care for our son, Eli. Even though it felt like the day would never come, I knew it would be soon too. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks but they had picked up and were every ten to fifteen minutes that day. We hopped in a rickshaw 🛺 and headed home to find the owner of the flat at the gate with a brand new couch. He felt terrible about the bed bugs and wanted to do everything he could to help.
I continued to lose more of my mucus plug that evening and prayed the prayer on a card my friend had given me– “Dear God, bring me a peace that surpasses all understanding. Help me to relax, release, and open. I surrender this birth to you.”
41 weeks and 2 days
At 4:00 am, I woke with light cramping and knew this baby was going to come at some point in the next 24 hours. I relaxed and breathed deeply just like I had practiced every day for the past several weeks as I lay in bed during my son’s nap time and listened to my Hypnobirthing tracks. I must have fallen back asleep and woke around 6:30 am with the same light cramping.
I texted the nurses line and the midwife on duty called me at 7:04 am.
A few minutes later I called my friend and told her that today was the day and we would let her know when we were coming to drop Eli off at her flat.
Meanwhile that morning I emptied my bowels three times before 8 am and that was more confirmation that today was the day. My husband and I finished packing Eli’s bag with plenty of diapers, snacks, clothes, and items for his nap. By 9:25 am we were waiting by the curb for our taxi and contractions were about 6 or 7 minutes apart. We felt like it might be a little early to leave but the last thing we wanted was to have a baby in a taxi in South Asia. We didn’t want to risk it and we knew that my labor would probably be fast since Eli’s went pretty quickly even for a first-time mom.
I put in my AirPods and clicked on my Christian Hypnobirthing App whenever the waves came. It helped me relax as I looked out the window into the morning traffic full of color, congestion, and car horns.
Twenty minutes later, we arrived at my friend’s, left our belongings in the car (hoping everything would be there when we returned) and took the elevator to her flat. I had a contraction on the way up and down and we were only there for a few minutes dropping him off. Leaving him felt monumental since I knew that the next time I saw him, we would introduce him to his baby brother.
From there, it was only a 7 minute ride to the midwifery center. Contractions felt manageable as I held my husband’s hand in the back seat but I knew I wouldn’t want them to be much closer together in a hot bumpy taxi ride. We were glad we left our house when we did!
We arrived around 10:30 am and I opted out of a cervical check, trusting that my body would tell me if and when I wanted to know how dilated I was. We settled into the birthing suite. I changed into my favorite nursing/labor gown and put on a headband to make sure my hair was out of the way. Our photographer arrived and she helped my husband set up our Luci Solar String Lights and tape my affirmations around the room. In between contractions, she took some sweet photos of us in front of the big windows beaming with morning light. Photos by Snuggle Diaries.
Every time a contraction came, I clicked on my headphones and sat on the birth ball as I leaned on the big blue armchair my husband sat in. He stroked my shoulders and back lightly and whispered slow affirmations in my ear. He is the best dad doula I could ever ask for. I breathed and kept everything loose. They were getting more intense and closer together. I started to feel pressure and feel shaky. I knew I must be nearing transition but was in denial and wanted confirmation. I asked for a cervical check, speaking in English with a South Asian accent. She was surprised I was 7 cm and almost completely effaced.
We decided it was time to get in the tub. It was already half full but she quickly filled it the rest of the way and got everything ready.
It was pretty high and leaning over it didn’t feel quite right so I asked for a peanut ball, which I laid my arms over and leaned on. At that point, there was no stopping the affirmations. They were constantly filling my mind with “I can” statements directing me to trust the Lord and my body. The peaceful background music helped me relax deeper. I asked my husband to keep the app on track #7: Positive Affirmations and make sure it didn’t go onto the next one. I quickly transitioned to pushing. When our baby entered the birth canal, I audibly whispered, “down and out” and was focusing on letting baby descend as I tried to relax as much as possible.
It didn’t take long before I gave one last push with another intense contraction and out he came at 12:15 pm. We all noticed the cord wrapped around his neck twice (which the 41-week ultrasound had warned us about) and the nurse quickly unwrapped it. They handed our 7 pound 8 ounce little bundle of joy to me. His face was purple but the doctor assured me his color would become normal and he was fine. I was relieved to be holding our baby in my arms. Robby was right behind me and kissed me as we looked into our boy’s beautiful eyes. I couldn’t have done it without the Lord’s strength and provision and my husbands constant presence, assurance, and care for me every step of the way.
They asked to cut the cord and I told them I wanted to wait until it became more white, which I had researched and decided beforehand. They started to drain the water and the placenta came out two minutes later once the water was gone.
When I was on the bed, the doctor stitched my two first-degree tears while Robby and I finalized our baby’s name and he, Micah Daniel, laid on my chest. We had three names in mind and the other two were Irish which seemed timely since it was Saint Patrick’s Day but we really loved the name Micah so we both agreed and that was that. We had already solidified his middle name after my Grandpa Dan (Daniel) who passed away six months ago. During the last phone call I had with him, I told him about the tiny kicks I had just started to feel.
The doctor told us she felt a little empty pocket near the stitches and I didn’t really understand what that was. She said we would need to keep an eye on it but didn’t sound too concerned.
At 1:30 pm, we FaceTimed our parents (3:00 am in USA) and they couldn’t believe Micah had come so quickly. My eyes filled with tears as I told my parents, from over 8,000 miles away, that their fourth grandchild was born and that we were all doing well.
The Unexpected
(trigger warning)
At 2:30 the nurses came to check me and told me a hematoma had developed. I was caught off guard because everything had gone so smoothly. The doctor came in, confirmed it, and said she wanted me to undergo a procedure immediately. Apparently, the pocket was filling with blood; a hematoma occurred meaning a blood vessel broke. In this case, the hematoma would not resolve on its own like many smaller hematomas do. My doctor would need to stop the bleeding so it didn’t progress into anything more serious.
My first instinct was to get a second opinion so I called my midwife in the States— Lindsey, who also happens to be a family friend. It was oh dark thirty but she picked up, thinking she had misread the schedule and she was supposed to be on call that night. Although she had never treated something like this before, she said everything made sense and my doctor even FaceTimed with her, explaining the situation. Talking with Lindsey made me feel better about the procedure. Lindsey prayed for me and I started bawling, feeling the abruptness of what was happening and feeling a little scared. I hung up, looked at my doctor who was at the door and said, “okay, I’ll go ahead with it.”
I walked to a room across the hall and reminded myself to stay calm and that the Lord was going to provide. I put in my headphones; Robby put Micah on my chest and he sat beside me. Their closeness and touch felt like a warm ray of sunshine on a bitterly cold day. It put confidence and calm back into my worried heart. I focused on hypnobirthing track #8: “Prayers for Strength” and how it felt to have sweet Micah on my chest. God truly met me in my desperation. He carried me through it all— every minute, every injection, every stitch, every breath. Micah didn’t make a peep and everyone in the room was so kind to me. It really wasn’t very painful either. Toward the end, they gave me IV medication to help the bleeding stop. Once the 15 minute procedure was done and everyone left, one nurse came back to help me to our room. I lost it. She was alarmed I was crying, especially since crying is often not encouraged or affirmed in this culture. I told her I was crying because of all the emotion I felt— overjoyed my baby was here and that the procedure was done; in shock and a little traumatized about the hematoma; and utterly exhausted and lightheaded because it was now past 4 o’clock and I had barely eaten since that morning.
The Brothers Meet
My friend hopped in a rickshaw with her 9-day-old in a carrier and brought Eli over at 6:20 pm. Robby happened to be picking up our Sushi at the same time they arrived and Eli ran to him.
My friend lingered back with her phone and recorded Eli meeting his little brother. He immediately pointed to Micah and me on the bed and crawled right up with assistance. He touched his face and laid his head right on Micah’s belly. He wanted to be as close to his little brother as possible. He loved him from the start. As I write this, Micah is two months old and Eli still kisses his baby brother throughout the day. When Eli is overtired or frustrated, he often takes one look at Micah, gives him a hug or kiss and settles right down. Their brotherly bond was powerful and innate. Since Eli hadn’t been away from us for the whole night before, he stayed with us both nights instead of going back to my friend’s house. Robby and Eli slept on a mattress on the floor and Micah and I slept in the big bed.
The Family Photo Shoot
The next day our photographer came back and did a beautiful family photo shoot in our room.
We stayed in the hospital for 48 hours as a family, which felt like an eternity compared to the 6 hours we stayed after Eli was born, but were happy I was checked on often after what had happened.
The Exit
Photos: 2 Days Postpartum (the morning we left the Midwifery center) ~ Leaving. Eli spent a few hours at our friends house and we picked him up on the way home. Having no car seat felt weird. ~ Taxi ride home. Yes! we were ALL exhausted!
Three weeks after he was born, we headed north to our actual home. During that time, I got a few more bedbug bites and we moved from our Airbnb (our reservation had expired) to a guest house. The guest house was actually supposed to be closed permanently by then but happened to still be open and available. It wasn’t fully booked which also proved to be a provision of God because we had to keep extending our stay day after day waiting for the hospital to release Micah’s birth certificate.
God was truly in every detail of Micah’s birth abroad.
Ways we saw the Lord provide:
- Finding the midwifery center
- All the nurses and doctors spoke English in this city
- My friend and her family being there for community and to help with Eli
- Going into labor during the day
- Having daylight for the birth photographer
- Quick and reliable taxi driver
- My midwife in the States answering my call in the night
- My doctor knew what to do right away and had done the procedure before
- The perfect guest house was provided for us to move to that was supposed to be shut down at the time
- People from our church community in the States donated money for us to eat out during postpartum. It was a large sum of money and we thought, “There is no way we will use all of this.” We kept getting delayed due to the birth certificate and ended up using every penny. It was truly a blessing and the only way our family stayed nourished for breakfast, lunch and dinner after Micah arrived.
- Even though we were there for longer than we expected after birth, it ended up being a blessing because I truly needed all three weeks to heal and be able to travel without being in pain.
Time we were away from our home: 1 day short of 8 weeks
Favorite ordering out items: fresh mint coconut water coolers and banana pudding from a famous bakery
Amount of luggage we took: 2 carry-ons & 3 forty-five pound checked bags