Language learning—we love the way it helps us form relationships and gives us the power to communicate but the process can be grueling and discouraging at times.
After our first year of marriage, we moved to South Asia where we had a great house with a study/guest room. My desk faced big windows that looked out into the front yard. Many days, I had a front-row seat to entire families of monkeys climbing on trees, literally doing summersaults in the grass and flips off the branches. You would think it would be a pretty epic place to have class online and begin embarking on the adventure of learning a new language. I heard learning a new language would be challenging but I had no idea what I was in for.
One day, early on in the language learning process, my husband and I were taking a joint class together online. I had a brand new black Moleskin notebook, colorful markers, pens, and a hot cup of coffee as I stared in front of the monkey window that felt like getting a perpetual front-row seat to an exhibit at the zoo. It was about 9:30 in the morning and I think I was probably still in my corral flowered pajama pants ready to learn. Class started and soon enough, the internet went out for a minute. That was all it took before I lost it. I burst into tears and put my head down on the table. I was so full of frustration. Nothing was making sense. The sentence structure. The verb endings. The way it was being taught, piece-meling books and topics together. “How am I ever going to learn this language?” I belted out in frustration.
The class was not over and the internet connection was back so we needed to call our teacher again. I wiped away my tears, threw on a fake smile, and jumped back into class as if everything was roses and rainbows.
The truth is, that wasn’t just one day. That went on for a long time. Many times it looked like making it until the end of class and as I was shutting my computer, the crying would start. I would like to say this only happened with one teacher or style of teaching but it happened with multiple. It was different from anything I had ever done.
If you haven’t already picked up on it, God did not hand my husband or me the gift of picking up a language like some people pick up a hobby and start making money off it. My sister is one of those people when it comes to painting. She hadn’t really painted a day in her life and then one day, she picked up some paints and a brush and now she is a serious and talented artist who makes a living off of her beautiful work! It’s amazing. Some people are like this with language. Yes, they work hard at it and stick with it but it comes easier to them than others.
It truly felt impossible to get where I was expected to be.
Once that year was coming to an end and it was time for me to plan my vision for the year, using Powersheets, I latched on to two phrases and wrote them on the vision board graphic I made in canva. I sent it to the Nikon store in the market down the road and drove my scooter proudly to the shop to retrieve what would hopefully be a visual reminder of what to focus on that year. In the midst of all the photos of healthy food, camping, people gathering together, local women, an open Bible, and pictures of slowing down, I had the phrases “DON’T QUIT” and “SHOW UP.”
I figured if I committed to simply be faithful to show up Every. Single. Day. I would eventually reach my language goal. If I showed up to put in community time, listen to recordings, read in the language, and study, I at least wouldn’t be going backward. I knew some days might feel like I was going backward but overall, that would be impossible if I didn’t quit.
The Lord kept reminding me of people like Mary, Moses, and David, who felt inadequate but realized it was not about them but how God equipped and used them through HIS strength, not theirs alone.
By God’s Grace, I did finally reach my main goal in language. It doesn’t mean I’m fluent or always confident speaking in front of groups or leading others. But it does reflect on the fact that God is faithful and He is the one who gives us the perseverance to keep showing up.
My mentor once asked me, “What if learning this language is mainly about the process and not even the end result? Will it be enough if the whole purpose is to draw you closer to the Lord?” Maybe it’s about the journey and how God molds and shapes us. Maybe it’s how we get there–the ins and outs, the ups and downs. Not who gets there first.
What is it for you? What do you need to keep showing up to right now?