Tips for Transition: Leaving your Host Country

Honestly, I am writing this to help me now and help me in the future. I hope it provides a little guidance for others as well. I hope you know that you are not alone in these massive transitions. Whether it’s when you initially move your life and belongings or all the other times you go back and forth. Maybe your transition is going back to your passport country, the place you know so well but that sometimes can feel so foreign. Maybe it’s a sudden transition (like mine has been) or maybe it was planned and thought out for months or years in advance. Whatever the circumstances, transition is only for a season.

We unexpectedly came back to the States after 2 years of living in South Asia. We had two full days between when we purchased plane tickets and when we left our house. So, it was a fast transition to say the least.

Two years ago, when we were preparing to move to South Asia, I read a book called Looming Transitions by Amy Young. It was a fabulous book and I wanted to refresh myself about what Amy wrote as I process this most recent transition. I got out my notes and here’s what I read…

Looming Transitions Quotes

• “I want to be the kind of person who is able to let roles, locations, and seasons of life die so there is space for the new to grow.”
• “It is difficult to live with the tension of not dying too early or not holding on too long.”
• “1)Grounded in Christ 2)Laughter revives the soul 3) It’s going to be messy–accept it 4) Know yourself 5) Start early 6) It’s not just about you 7) work out your grief”
• “Be aware of the kind of person you want to be. It is hard to let parts of yourself die but it is necessary.”
• “While a fertile soul may not be the heart cry of the world, it is the heart cry of God. He loves you and cares more about being WITH YOU in this journey than WHERE you are going.”
• “create a worship playlist for the transition”
• “Invest more in relationships that have meant a great deal to you.”
• “Messiness: the gap between what is expected and what is delivered. Our emotions in messiness are often more out of control than normal.”
• “Accepting messiness is not about becoming Eeyore, it is about embracing life so that in the midst of the mess, there can be joy as well.”
• “Knowing how much your identity is intertwined with what is coming to an end will help make sense of the different reactions you and others are having.”
• “By starting early, you are able to create the forms that allow you to pour the concrete where you’d like. If you start your transition early, you can invest in areas that are important to you instead of reacting as they come up. The point is to incorporate all parts of life into the plan, ensuring that you are living out of your priorities.”

Processing, Preparing, & Praying

I absolutely love the advice Amy gives in her book Looming Transitions about grieving, starting early, and devoting time to those closest to you. Not every transition will allow time for you to start early but as you go through the transition, no matter how hectic things are, you have the opportunity to create a little space for preparing, processing, and praying about it. Maybe that means journaling for 10 minutes in the morning before you leave or thinking through some things on the plane, or praying for your transition as you wait at the airport.

It helped us to take on a similar mindset for when we initially left to go to a foreign county but as we go back to our Passport country, we must acknowledge that it is not the same as when we left it.

If we expect people, structures, and mindsets to have changed in our Passport country, we prepare our hearts to embrace the differences rather than sit in discouragement about how things used to be.

Preparing

preparing your home to leave:

This includes preparing your home for your time away (making sure things don’t mold and things are packed up properly), you also need to prepare for what you are actually taking with you to your passport country.

You can download this free printable by clicking below 🙂

Preparing for logistics in your passport country:

Prepare for logistics when you arrive such as who will pick you up and where you will stay. Will someone be bringing you a meal when you get there or can a family member pick up some groceries for you?

Preparing for what people might say:

Apart from the basics above, try to spend some time preparing for what people might say to you or ask you about. Prepare for how you might respond to these comments or questions.

• “Welcome home”
• “Are you home for good?”
• “I bet you are so happy to be back!”
• “How was your trip?”

Preparing for Jetlag:

Try to pack healthy foods for your journey back. Since we were flying during Covid-19, some airports didn’t even have any food at all. And as far as jetlag, I experienced a lot of dizziness. Hydrating throughout the trip and as much as possible as you recover will help symptoms like these as well as others.

Processing

• how have peoples lives changed in the States (passport country)
• 2 stories you could share with others (any topic)
• 2 funny stories
• 2 things you love about living in your country
• 2 things that have been difficult
• 10 things you are currently thankful for today

Praying

spend time praying for

• yourself and others who are transitioning during this time
• that you would be full of joy and present wherever you are
• contentment during this season of living in the tension
• for those on the other side (either those in your host country or those in your passport country)
• that you would use this time wisely and not view it as a waste thinking “I wish I was _______.”

Here are some verses that have given me comfort during transition:

Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Psalm 18:2 “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”

Philippians 4:6-8 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.